Coping with Solipsism Fears

for those uneducated; solipsism is the idiology that nothing is real except your conscience, aka youre the only mortal / immortal in this existance, it brings me genuine hinderism thinking about it, afaird of my own conscience eliimenating this version of me for realising it, i have been paranoid and imperfect mental-wise about it, i have deascended gave up trying, everything that is happening to me feels weirdly famaliare.

my mind has been getting eaten up by it, it sounds so convincing, its scary to realise it, im afaird that everything will go dark forever, nothing ever happens, tried coping with religion and faild,i can't publicly speak about, people see me as a jester and a teen, nor can i write; My writing skills aren't even qualified for a 3rd grader, nobody understands me verbally, nor dothey understand whatever im writing, i just wanted this to be a cope and not real.