Labels vs. Identity: A Community Discussion | FriendZone
Summary
FriendZone | Make Friends ⋅ Fun Chill Active Chat ⋅ VC Social Gaming ⋅ Memes ⋅ Nitro Emojis ⋅ Anime hosts a thoughtful community debate regarding the use of labels in social interactions. The discussion explores whether identifying with terms like ADHD helps others understand personal differences or if it creates unnecessary barriers. This dialogue highlights the importance of empathy and mutual understanding within our diverse server environment.
yeah, I don't know since I don't really engage much with people with labels like ADHD and the rest of them . it's not like I would ever ask you about it or complain about how you are,my point is identifying yourself as that seems a bit off to me, I can get that you are different easier than when you call yourself that,feels like you reducing yourself to that or identifying as that,rather than just being you. No offence
Sorry what u mean
U mean people is self diagnose with adhd?
No, I meant. People with any labels I guess
I get that you are different and I can understand that. But when you tell me your labels it's like forcing me to see you just through that label rather than a whole person who is different from me
I see but not everyone is forcing
Depends who u meeting
If a person is telling about it is rather to say that they have problems that they cant help
Its not meaning to force anyone
I guess so. Let's say you have ADHD for example. And I don't know that. I can be talking with you as a friend without ever knowing that. For me I just think you are different, but if you tell me that you have that,it might make me see you through that Len rather than a whole person
Oh, so the labels are for me to understand why they are different?
Sure it can give a different view
But if people saying that it is bc they choose to trust u
And if u see at this point
If many think you are in a way you are not like example maturity or brain function
They can do wrong and misjudge
For u not being well enough
Ect
And slacking
Much things
So if someone say they having adhd or something its not bc of anything bad its just that many can view people wrong
And it will be more difficult
U can think how u think and we all but even with difficulty or whatever its we all are good just misunderstood from both ways
Oh, that's why they have the labels
Well many times its bc of being judged and people being bad in forms, like lets say you see people right
And they see you may not know so much
So they will guess every wrong detail about u
And thats not fun
Its people like that
Huh
But not everyone misunderstand them I guess
Yes but i say many places it is
Even if you don't tell me that you have a label
Like this
I would just talk to you like normal because I know everyone is their own different person
Giving me a label to look at is making me seeing you only that way rather than a whole for me 
Well its to understand only that people have different levels stuff like this and maybe more
Yes people are different as person yes
But as form of being judged
Many likes to judge
Esp in schools
Some discord
Hmm
And idk if work places
But i think there too
Let me give an example although it's not a label like ADHD and the rest
So I have a friend
I see, its ok
She is "bi"
So we are friends
And I have never brought up the topic of her being bi
I see as a person rather than seeing her just as a bi person, more like having a friend who is a person who happens to be bi
Then she brought it up one day
And asked me what I think about people like her
And I was like,I don't have any issues with them since they apparently are different for a reason
I saw them as a person and not only just by what they identity as. But even at that
I wouldn't want it on a family level
Since family is a whole different case
Also I don't hate on them, just concerned about the fact of them wanting acceptance. It's kinda like forcing in a way
So she wondered if u liked her sezuality?
Like acceptance how
They push answers or
If they push anything u should be like putting boundary
And telling them how u feel about situation
That its not nice and u feel uncomfortable
She just wanted to see my view on people with a different sez...
Then if u feel uncomfortable then u can say how ur feeling
Yeah, I did state my boundaries. I was like I see you as a whole person Nd not just by what you identity. Totally okay with being friends,but not okay if I had a family member like that 🙂
Oh, not uncomfortable
So then they respected it then?
Just wondering why what I think mattered to her
Not really
People with different sezuality sometimes make that identity all about theirselves
So tbh only way to do is saying direct and saying like a line and if its not respected then its end
Its usually normally best
Nobody should do anything u already have said boundaries over and countinue
Its not nice
Yeah. I guess so. But friends sometimes worry about what their friends think of them
I don't, I see myself as a villain. Never said anything about being a good or bad friend, just a guy who can be both 🙂
Sometimes people do this so that they may be able to explain some of their behaviour or give necessary context so that u dont think someone is being rude to u. Someone might tell u they r autistic so that you dont think they are being intenti9nally rude and ignoribg u wjen they dont make proper eye contact for example. Its also a bit weird to just not engage with people that say something descriptive abiut themselves lol
Yes true but sometimes its best
Its self respect for ur self
Oh. Yeah sure. If someone tells me about their label I can look it up. But now that I know what it means, what then. I would have to talk to them in a way that's different I guess
If they have adhd I dont think they need different ways only to know
I probably won't get it since I haven't meet alot of people like that or I don't know that they have it
Ur boundaries ect
I have adhd friend and adhd caregiver
They understand things very well
Oh, if I can handle interacting with a person with ADHD something like that?
Yes u can mild intellectual Disability and adhd is alike so i belive it is possible for someone with adhd
To understand u also
What if I have one of those
It's okay for me not to care about knowing if I have it right
I don't like labels
You only know as doctor
I don't want to know that's it 😮💨
U can only see there
And if adhd people normally struggle with seeing around boundaries but i belive
They can understand
Well many social cues and stuff is very difficult for some
And depends
Okay. You are probably misunderstanding me lol. I meant, I don't have any of those things. Even if I did, I don't want to know about it. I see myself as just a normal Nd also weird person
But u asked what if u had those
Or said
So it made me assume u wondered
Well then be proud who ur
Oh my bad
I was like I could have it since I have never been to a doctor to check stuffs like that
But since I don't care and I'm just living my life
I don't see a need to know if I had something like that
I see
Well i hope i could give answer u seeked the only thing is many dont always seeing everything of things so good to be clear ig
I dont have anything else to say
Oh, it's fine lol
Why I started the whole hottake was just that even though I don't know if someone as those things I still relate well with them so I didn't get the whole point of labels
I see
Yeah. Let's say I tell you I had ADHD. You are probably going to talk to me in a way with that in mind
Rather than this dude is just a different person
Not really
I talk to everyone equally
No matter what they have
Everyone is different and its normal knowledge to know
Isnt that more a reflection on you that you have difficulty adjusting to different people
But also some can do talk different if they view only the adhd perspective
Like lets say they think they have behave different
Nope. I don't have a problem talking with different people since I don't need to know why they are different
And they accidentally make someone mad
Then the person just dont wanna see them again
Like i dont like if someone view my disability only as person i have many capability so if someone is like doing something there then its just anger i guess
Baby talk is the worst anyone ever does
Idk if anyone done way worse to others
But Ill say that behaving normally even if
People have something
Is the correct way
So i dont get the problem of them sharing a 'label' with u then?
It happens when you go by a label, it serves as a means for people to understand why you do the things you do but that can also make some people see you only through that Len rather than you just being different
Yeah
Yes but thats annoying
Cause it would change how I relate with the person
Even if u would have Disability different
Right and if people need to know every info about u
Even disability
Then whats point
How does that change the way u relate to them
Well, I don't know what ADHD(checked once for forgot lol) let's just say it was like you can't focus on something. And anytime that happens when we talk I would try to relate it to that label. But if I don't know, I would just see it as you being different
So why is it bad you have an explanation for that label
Surely that just makes things make more sense about a person
Yeah. It does help me understand the person and same time can reduce my view on you to just that
I think I prefer no knowing
You can relate in some things without checking on adhd things
But can relate to some things u struggle with
Ur self
And if its not related anything
Its fine
Alright. I guess it's just me that doesn't like when people have labels
Well i dont think so
Can be others also
Maybe. We still relate with people even without knowing if they had those
Yes
Surely rhats a problem with u about how u treat people based on their conditions and not a problem with them giving u their labels
Yeah. Cause having a label can just reduce you to that label even if it's meant for others to understand you
Alright
Probably true
It's a problem with me well they forced on me, let's say I didn't know I would
just be like this person is different from me but now that I know we'll,you can
do whatever you want under the safety of that label and it wouldn't be like when
I didn't know. They think me knowing would help me understand yes it would but
understanding would also mean that I would have to change how I Relate with the
person which might lead to reduction or even making it uncomfortable.
