Marriage Promises: Manipulation or Commitment? | FriendZone
Summary
FriendZone | Make Friends ⋅ Fun Chill Active Chat ⋅ VC Social Gaming ⋅ Memes ⋅ Nitro Emojis ⋅ Anime hosts a deep dive into the complexities of modern dating. This community discussion explores whether marriage promises are being used as a tool for manipulation or if they reflect genuine commitment. Members weigh in on social pressures, the importance of personal growth before marriage, and how to spot red flags in relationships.
Some men throw around marriage promises just to make you lower your guard. Suddenly it's ^^you're going to be my wife anyway, so what's the problem^^Next thing you know, they're using the idea of a future together to get whatever they want in the present.
The truth is a lot of them don't have wedding plans they have access plans. They sell you the dream of being a wife so you'll ignore the red flags, give more of yourself, and stay invested. Then once they've gotten what they wanted, they disappear and move on to the next person.
Ig but not always
Can sometimes happen on either side, not exclusive to one
I'm agreeing with Maggie
This.....
Yourself, future , well-being before marriage
Marriage is only good when you are matured, prepare, have your own future and won't tolerate disrespect
marriage is a social construct at the end of the day, and society tells us massivly one thing : a woman who after a certain age is not married will end up alone and useless, a man who is also not married will end up not succedding in life because he needs the single woman to take care of him like his mom took care of him. it can be possible for a man and a woman to have a good marriage where both are sane normal healthy people but lets bfr most people dont have the critical skills to think about WHY they wanna marry someone, especially when its only for commodity
I mean if you’re still fantasising about marriage in the big 26, it’s on you.
No
always
Society and family pressure can push them
that’s why she said some and she’s not saying always…..this is prolly from experience
Yes
Yh so I said it can happen either side
How can you give an exemple
Argee
Like either side could be using the other for money
this post isn’t ab people using each tone for money…..
it’s the threat of using marriage to get what u want
Ik I was using that as an example, sometimes ppl decide to go into a marriage in order to get money from the other person
And sometimes if the other person wants to divorce, they might get made to pay more money cos of it
This almost happened to someone I knew so they had to cancel their engagement
only happens with no prenup and if you break ur marriage contract
I don't think the contract was broken, stuff like this does happen even with a contract
Like it the other family have got good ties with certain people
no it doesn’t actually, a marriage contract u stay loyal…u break that ur entitled to compensation, prenup u don’t have one anything u make after marriage is split no matter who owns it
not…even a thing
It is even if it doesn't happen in most places
there isn’t more than two people in a marriage contract? idk what the fuck that has to do with the marriage contact
what
Well what I mean is they almost got decieved into making a contract which would cause him to be stuck in the marriage and pay a hefty amount if he wanted to divorce (they were engaged before anything any it was known)
there’s protection for that if ur in the US other places idk
No I mean certain places, where it's family who r involved with the contract (not talking abt love marriages btw)
Yeah I'm not talking abt the US, some places don't have it
bro people need to start clarifying what the fuck they mean like this is how arguments start ppl not being specific like idk what u r tryna say i only interpret the message u sent
Was I not clear when I replied, I'm not even trying to sound rude here
no honestly i thought u were referring to all around the world
i’m like no most parts have protections against that
Technology I am, stuff like laws r also not always followed (if they were then exploitation wouldn't be a thing still)
no that’s not true, cases arent made bc there’s a thing called reasonable doubt, if u prove it in the case it gets thrown out and most are that’s why it’s so hard to prove it
exploitation will always be a thing
even if rules r followed
I don't rly get it from ur wording
reasonable doubt, doubt that it happened. Prove it, cases closed.
water found in ocean
ur fucking weird
It isn't that easy in other countries tbh
why?
yea i’m saying in the us….bc we have due process other countries i have no fucking clue bc i live in the us….
that’s what i’m saying
dttm
lmao so ur randomly aggressive than don't talk okay fair lol
Ok idk the abt the US, I was making an example from another place and then u talked abt stuff like protection when it doesn't work in the context I meant
lmao ur the one justifying what that person said so i have a right stfu
i also said clarify where ur talking about….
and ur still talking ab it like in all over
I didn't justify nothing lol, what I was saying is that basically people will go to extreme lenghts to get what they want lol
u did say anything, u said water in the ocean
which meant that obviously people will be manipulative in relationships lol
U got mad at first without asking the clarify
then say that???
no i didn’t?
you shouldn't be angry at me I'm not telling people to be assholes
it has the same meaning lol
when did i say i was angry with
no it doesn’t?
just say what u mean?
the fuck
you're still angry btw lol
can’t expect everyone to know what ur talking ab
I mean swearing seems like ur angry lol... Not saying it's bad but that's the vibe I got
gang i’m not angry wtf this how i speak
don't people talk in metaphors anymore lmao
why not talk like a normal human???
cussing to someone who isn't cussing back is kinda agressive lol
why do i have to decipher what ur saying
Yeah it is
so? doesn’t mean i’m angry?
like people swear? all of a sudden they r mad when they do
I'm crying rn
I'm so scared
lmao
u can’t interpret tone….
In this context yes it's sounds angry
why? i didn’t threaten anything
okay whatever
I'm js joking
it ain't a big deal
the thing is we're on the same page
it sucks to be manipulated in a relationship
If wtvr then no need to engage
okay fine
i’ll add yall to the list
Wasn't even rude lmao
server js bs atp
pmo so much
I drink water when I'm thirsty btw
This is hot takes, we make differing opinions and ppl r not gonna agree with as in irl
yeah that's the point
it would be way more productive if it was from a discussion angle istead of meaningless arguing
tbh I think relationships are very sensitive
it's like big effort bog reward kinda thing
and also big risk
with the right person it feels like heaven
with an impostor it's just shit
i never said yall had to agree i’m js tired of ppl arguing on the topic, useless shit being said, not clarifying or just not understanding the post so i’m js gonna block all who r fucking retarded
once again NOT MAD
i just dgaf
you're very mad aren't u?
it's okay to be mad
just don't reflect it on random ragebaiters on the internet
Damn I even gave points from an actual situation I knew and u got issues with it
Yeah sure u aren't mad
she's not mad the slightest
I don't get the idgaf approach
Yeah exactly
like lmao
Truee but happens other way around too
yeah it's a two way street
Exactly what my point was, both sides do it and it's not exclusive to one
Yea bad apples r everywhere
one has to lean to communicate and read like subtle signals
💯
with that it won't be as bad, the opposite it will become exciting again
ur the only one retarded here
I can't stop laughing lmao
men = bad
that's a logical fallacy all or nothing thinking
okay nerd
u can't judge a whole pack by a small sample
those who know
dont get me wrong but many or dare i say most people nowadays js think of marriage as sum sorta way to fulfill those desires legally 😔🖐
💀
so tuff i almost cried 🥶
it's human nature I think everyone wants to fulfill those desires but there's a line between being transparent and being manipulative
ig bro
Yea but hving ur whole marriage revolve around that thing only is sum crazy work
Yeah like taking all the other person's money (as in literally all of it)
yeah that's true that's only a part of it
there are like aspects to it
like the sides vision for the future, do they share like the same ideologies
Or the weird idea of having to pay absolutely everything back if a marriage doesn't work out, it causes trust issues
it does lol
Yee but i m not talking abt those things cos nowadays i m seeing various shi abt couples who ended up marrying cos they loved sleeping w each other
it's also like way different in different cultures
😭
well if they both think that's all to it congrats ig, but in the long run idk how that wil spiral
As in like let's say the divorce happened cos of certain issues occurred, idk like in some cultures the man gives the woman some jewellery but he maybe did some stuff so they divorce
Giving what was supposed to be a gift back is a bit off
well idk abt long run cos if a relationship is based on that thing onky , it’s bound to fall off when they find a better sleeping partner
there's also like the virginity factor, some cultures consider it a deal breaker
Oh yh also that
yeah that's what I meant because at one point you'll get sick of sleeping in general, well it's not like a concrete science every case is different, but usually it's difficult to maintain such on the long run
I'll be back guys gotta take care of thing quickly
i remembered a story i read on reddit abt smth related to this
So sum girl was planning to break up w her bf from 8 months but she waited till her bday so that her bf can gift her gaming pc
And she broke up js after receiving that as a "gift"
Oh damn, I was using what I wrote as an actually example cos the husband kinda hit the wife (happened with a friend and I told her to report him cos it happened abroad)
women ☕
Idk if they've divorced now, probs in court
Marriage is great especially if both partners are reasonable and respects themselves
Getting married is okay if you want but not a must tho...
That want most people are confused with some people think life of a woman is revolves around marriage
there's a reason everyone says to never trust anyone..
not defending if someone does this
but if ur an adult with a sound mind
then u shouldnt believe in these things in first place
people change all the time and they can hide behind their fake face
people fall for obvious traps and then blamd everyone but themselves
I agree wuth ligma
balls
aight bet....no what
so yeah, I mean I believe in true love ngl, but not the hollywood version
wht abt japanese version their love stories in movies r so surreal
Sometimes a bit extra
😭
that aint real life
love may exist but its not a forver existing thing between two persons
it can change and does change
Yeah that’s a financial strategist right there , she’s making it far.
That is why as a woman have a life before thinking about marriage and be ready to walk out if things change
Have self respect not feelings over everything
i bet my life that would approve it
gotta dip guys talk later, take care
😭😭😭🖐
Truuu
You see, you don't have an exemple
I did have an example, it's lower down the messages
You don't know those men then
There’s always clear signs of someone being manipulative , just take it slow and they’ll slip.
You seem to know me more than I thought
but as an adult why are u even believing in any of this..
people are like this..they lie and its not only men who lie
tell her sis
and a promise of marraige is not a pact signed by them..if ur doing something just cuz other one said something
then u arent a rational person imo..
ragebaiting atp
U need clear conditions to act as safeholds, but not everyone can do that ig
Because you love the person and they use the love and promise of being together and marry you to just scam you
When you get feelings for someone you'll understand
Not really
so here u are talking bou how manipulate into getting their partner agrreing for physical pleassures..right??
or things like that?
People that get manipulated are usually the ones throwing themselves at the manipulator with barely any time. You obv won’t be able to notice that you’re getting manipulated if you’re already blinded by « love » or should I say the lack of self esteem/obsession/desperation.
True some ppl do that and then it's too late, the damage might've already been done but some can catch it before it happens (more rare imo)
Are you trying to say trusting a person you love is bad...?
manipulators have tactics to isolate a person, they dont just attract 'weak minded' people. this whole idea you have is victim blaming, check yourself
There is a thing called trust...
And it is normal to trust a person who you are in a relationship
So I don't see how it is the victims fault
They both owe each other trust ... Who breaks it is the person at fault
their fault for being weak im9
am saying that doing all those things just cuz the partner said they will marry and thats why u should do those things with them..thats wrong
not saying that the men is not wrong in this case
Bro , in this context it’s not victim blaming. At some point you need lucidity. Love bombing is SO obvious.
he's def more in the wrong but as a adult u should be responsible for ur actions
and know how evil and weird this world is
It isn't
Not every one manipulate obviously
Evil people do it dangerously and in secret
the person being manipulated wont realize it just because outside for you it looks obvious
this is on of the reason age of consent exists..cuz only at a certain age u are able to take ur own rationale decision
and this isnt only bout this case
nah it exists because going with a child is immoral
if that were to be the case it would be much higher than 14 or 16 in most countries
That is true. But you have to be pretty naive as an adult to believe that someone you’ve known for like a month saying they love you when they barely know you or they’ll marry you.
It's not exclusive to one gender anyways
yea def just saying men cuz she used men as the manipulator in this post
it's not abt certainity tbh it's js ur "less likely" to make rahs nd immature decisions but adults can make such mistakes too
Im just saying people should be cautious. Not every manipulator is a genius.
Yeah and I don't mean men don't do it, I just have heard situations where it's either side
yea
How would you know if they never had plans in getting married?
You aren't in the mind....
Yh some people are naive but regardless tho...
But still not their fault
Trueee
people should be cautious sure but manipulator are usually in the higher bar of certain types of intelligence because they know how to act and talk to get someone to do what they want
Sometimes it happens for much longer than just a month and the marriage is all planned out, just for them to show what they rly want
Im not saying its just the victim that’s at fault. They both are. However we’re discussing the victims aren’t we ? Unless it’s a specific cultural context, let’s not act like people actually get married without knowing each other that much.
people do get married without knowing each other that much tho, not only in specific cultural context but also religious ones and its still a practice
Culture is usually a big part for many marriages which aren't to do with love
Thats true but a lot of them are just mediocre taking advantage of vulnerable people
If we should follow this logic
That means in story of the girl who waited for the gaming pc gift before breaking up with her boyfriend
The boy is at fault too...
.....
I mean yeah , I’m not saying the opposite there’s plenty of people that lie after 14y of being in a relationship. If you’ve been waiting for a ring for 7y that’s already a sign imo. I’m not saying it’s easy for the victims, but you gotta be strong to leave that situation.
Well religion plays a huge part in those cultures I’m referring to
Why did he trust he should know humans are not trustworthy
Even for that ig it makes more sense if both r trying to enter in a love marriage, but if it's not to do with love then I think it's more that the victim doesn't have much fault for wtvr happens with them
Blame the person at fault not the victim
What that victim needs is sympathy not criticism
Yeah this
agree
No one is responsible for how others treat them especially in dating
Idk how long they’ve been dating for. But it’s not the smartest thing to do isn’t it ? If you gift someone you’ve known for a short time an expensive gift when you don’t have it like that. We all know how materialistic we all are.
Oh never mind
8 months it is
You have no point here bro
So he was at fault....?
Yes or no?
Well yeah there’s not much they can do
They are both at fault
Ones manipulating and the other one’s naive
Gifting some one you like isn't a bad thing and trusting someone you like isn't bad either
All the blame goes to those at fault not the victim
So gifting a person you like is a dumb thing?
You can only advise them but not criticize them for what another person did....
Im not saying that gifting is bad or trusting people is bad but you have to be cautious. You can be the nicest person in the world but unfortunately that doesn’t mean other people aren’t evil. You can’t just be gifting a gf of 8 months an expensive PC when that would make you vulnerable financially. If the guy had money like that he prolly wouldn’t care and move on. Imagine how he feels after losing so much money to someone that isn’t worth it ?
That’s what I’m saying gotta be cautious and past a certain age you’re lowkey asking for it. It’s harsh but it’s true. The ex gf sucks anyway.
Being cautious is reasonable obviously but still can't trust humans
As much as you can say they should be cautious you can criticize them without saying they were at fault for how others treated them....
I’ll admit that saying they’re at fault is pretty harsh. It does sound like victim blaming which isn’t what I’m trying to do. However , I just want to highlight that victims have to be more responsible. They can’t make such impactful decisions based on vague promises and nothing else. We also can’t ignore that people often willingly ignore red flags bc it’s their partner and they wouldn’t do that to them which isn’t the wisest thing. It’s important for your own good to work on your self esteem before dating.
Yes in the name of marriage
If that's how you see love then we're all desperate and lack self esteem
Kind of sad how men use marriage promises like that with a woman. It makes me cringe and shake my head when I hear that. I would never do that with my fiancée
hope it goes for the better in the future
It has been good for a while. I left a long time ago
cool
Always hunting....
