Talking to Friends

We hear you that it seems members are sometimes worried they can’t vent to friends when dealing with something in the hub without risking trouble. It’s important to us that everyone feels safe and able to lean on the strong friendships we all build here, so we are putting forth this new policy to hopefully help everyone feel they can seek support from friends, while also continuing to make sure other members are not slandered our outcast.

What you CAN share
- If an event happened publicly in the server, you may talk to (1) other members about it privately. Why 1? Because there’s sides to every story. By speaking to a friend, a member has the option to seek support from someone who understands their situation, while also maintaining a level of not flooding the server with 1 side of a story by spreading the story en masse.
- If the situation happened in private but involves someone in the server, you may speak to 1 friend for the same reason but may NOT use names or allude to an identity. This is for the same reason as above, paired with it still not being ok to breach the confidentiality of private DMs. Of course, if you believe the person is unsafe or unfit for the server, you may still always open a ticket to report to staff.

What you should NOT share
- DM screenshots. Respect others’ privacy.
- Again, if speaking about a private issue, nothing that would identify the person
- This is not permission to slander. For example, there’s a difference between sharing your experience factually (ie I called red and he ignored it and I’m really hurt) vs. sharing judgment (This person is a dangerous manipulator, avoid them)
- As always, you may not share situations that are not your own. This policy applies only to situations that happen to you personally. It does not apply to a friend giving you information, then meaning you get to now go share it with one more person.

We think and hope this will make our members feel more comfortable. We never want to warn or ban members simply for relying on the strong friendships youve built here, and that we want you to continue building. This policy was written in hopes you will all feel safe to confide to your friends without fear of trouble in the hub, but also support us in always doing so respectfully and in a way that’s doesn’t allow members to be slandered or unwelcomed should they ever get into a disagreement.

One more time, please also remember that public or private, you can speak to staff at any time. If you feel unsafe, targeted, or concerned about another’s ability to responsibly participate in a kink space, please let us know so we can support you.