How do I know what Soil I am?
I had left Christianity for around a decade since my teens. Since some years I've started to come around, and since a few months i have clearly felt my heart pull towards Jesus. I have since read many online testimonies and watched videos. But I had never read the Bible completely. I have since started and Matthew 13 verse 18-23 explains the parable of the seed in the soil. I am generally an anxious and worried person and am afraid this means I am the soil with Thorns, the distracted heart. How do I know if I am? If I am how do I become the good soil?
How do I know what Soil I am?
Thank you so much for the reply. It was reassuring to read. I know I sometimes feel like I need to get somewhere alone. But your reply are reminders of things I do know, like asking God for Guidance, but find it hard to put in practise.
Because I have lost my belief for over a decade, I have a fear that I committed the unforgivable sin of rejecting God's Truth and Grace in the past as explained in Matthew 12:31-32, and thus my prayers for forgiveness will not be heard. And how can I ask for guidance if I cannot even ask for forgiveness first.
I have found the answer in meantime. The fact that I worry about this and seek forgiveness means the Holy Spirit is working in me. I feel a bit silly to worry about original sin so quickly. Reading the Bible for the first time can sometimes be a bit overwhelming because of passages that explain sins like these. I have since kept praying every day and felt His presence. So I am completely assured from my fears in this thread. God is Great!
