CNC Club 18+ Expectations & Relationship Guidelines
Summary
CNC Club 18+ announces expectations and relationship guidance to keep the community healthy. The announcement covers managing expectations, emotional self-care, limits around attention and roleplay, and the concept of NRE (new relationship energy). It reminds members the servers are not therapy and encourages breaks if interactions harm mental health.
Managing Expectations
Many of us come here for attention, community, to find likeminded friends and perhaps to pair up more deeply with other users. However, these servers are made up of many people with different needs and wants so it is important to manage expectations for others.
Just because you may want a collar, does not mean the s or D type you’re speaking to is interested in a collar. Or just because you may want to serve a drink, does not mean the D you speak to would like one.
No one in these servers owes you attention nor the fulfillment of your fantasies. You are not owed time. You are not owed a “good sub” just because another sub got one for the same thing, nor a RP just because another Dom got one. In all of the hub’s servers, along with managing your expectations, we therefore expect that you can manage your emotions as well. Weigh your online interactions properly within the context of your life: if a lack of attention in the server is affecting your mental health, go on break or sign out. If you’re feeling jealous of another user because they have something (attention, a collar, whatever) that you do not, go on break.
These servers should not negatively affect your emotions or mental health and if they do, it is up to you to take the appropriate step away until they are managed.
The server is not therapy nor a support group, and we aim to keep the experiences within them positive for all, so we ask that you not request or rely on support from it’s members for your happiness.
Relationship Timelines
Let us introduce you to the concept of NRE: New Relationship Energy. Almost nothing is more thrilling than the butterflies that come with meeting someone new whom you enjoy. We have all felt it: the excitement, the fiery intimacy, the belief this person is different than the others, that what we share is unique.
And sometimes that’s true. But most of the time? It’s not.
No matter what the butterflies tell you: you do not know another user just because you’ve been speaking all ay every day for 3 weeks, though that’s a great start. Knowing another takes time, so do not confuse knowing a lot (if even true) with knowing everything about someone. Do not confuse the excitement of meeting someone new with love. And do not confuse the absence of loneliness as having found someone who is actually good for you.
A perfect fit is not measured by getting along in the easy moments, but making it through the difficult ones. Consider relationships and sacred collars only once you are sure you can make it, when you know you both will have the energy and will to work through a problem even when there are no butterflies to help you along.
And further, remind yourself that a collared dynamic should require more than a vanilla one, not less. MORE communication, MORE trust, MORE vulnerability, and so on. They are harder, deeper, taxing…because when done properly, they’re worth it.
To continue with the theme: also remember that online, you know nothing about another’s life, even online. What is said to you can be said elsewhere. Intimate DMs with you may be matched elsewhere. The user may be in other servers. The details they share may not be accurate.
And so take your time. Your time is valuable and you will be glad you have vetted a partner properly when you are not dealing with the fallout of an improper pairing born of excitement.
