Server expectations and hierarchy

There’s been lots of discussion over the last weeks (months?) about the server theme, expectations of Sirs and subs, and how well each side is playing their part, so we are making some slight changes to encourage the Patriarchy theme of CNC Club.

Hierarchy
Sirs are responsible for sub behavior. That’s not new. But moving forward, only Sirs will be responsible for sub behavior. What does that mean?

Staff (subs) will not be calling out/correcting sub behavior (unless a Sir is not present). Instead, if a sub’s behavior is lacking, staff (subs) will be calling out Sirs who are letting it slide. (Staff subs will of course still step in if a Sir is being ignored or disrespected)

This way there is no confusion on exactly whose job it is to keep subs in line. It’s the Sirs’. Only the Sirs’. The privilege of Dominance must be earned through proper effort.

So below, we have made clear what behavior is required by the server. As always, Sirs may request and enforce more strict behavior than this, if all are consenting, but not less.

Required by subs, and required to be enforced by Sirs
- capitalizing Sir, never sub
- Greeting the room anytime a sub is returning after leaving
- Using honorifics at least every 2-3 messages
- No bratting, attitude, any behavior that’s disrespectful toward Sirs, spamming emotes, not using full words
- subs topping subs

Sirs, remember training is Our job. Educate, guide, coach…then task and punish if and when necessary. Only We are responsible for eliciting the behavior we wish to see from subs.

As always, if you feel a Sir or sub is hindering the theme or safety and needs a pair of staff eyes, please open a ticket.

Unverified Members in NSFW VCs

As you all know, we have always allowed all members who have completed the hub’s mandatory task (icebreaker) to access NSFW areas, having proven they understand consent and safe kink practices.

The hub has made this choice with the understanding that the internet is a risky place and some adults very understandably prefer not to provide the information needed to verify, for safety and privacy purposes.

For that reason, they are able to access NSFW chats and at least one NSFW in all hub servers.

We are, however, requesting that non-verified members do not engage in sex while in NSFW VCs (phone sex, cumming which includes being on mute but taking instruction to cum while in the side chat, taking real life sexual instruction, etc). In these VCs, NSFW topics may be discussed but sex (anything that will bring a member to orgasm) should not be engaged in.

The hub has decided this is a step too far and too personal for members who have not yet proven their 18+ status.

Verified members may still participate in sex, including orgasm, in verified only VCs.

And as always, we strongly recommend all members verify their age and rely on the verified roles if looking for members they can safely believe are 18+.

Talking to Friends

We hear you that it seems members are sometimes worried they can’t vent to friends when dealing with something in the hub without risking trouble. It’s important to us that everyone feels safe and able to lean on the strong friendships we all build here, so we are putting forth this new policy to hopefully help everyone feel they can seek support from friends, while also continuing to make sure other members are not slandered our outcast.

What you CAN share
- If an event happened publicly in the server, you may talk to (1) other members about it privately. Why 1? Because there’s sides to every story. By speaking to a friend, a member has the option to seek support from someone who understands their situation, while also maintaining a level of not flooding the server with 1 side of a story by spreading the story en masse.
- If the situation happened in private but involves someone in the server, you may speak to 1 friend for the same reason but may NOT use names or allude to an identity. This is for the same reason as above, paired with it still not being ok to breach the confidentiality of private DMs. Of course, if you believe the person is unsafe or unfit for the server, you may still always open a ticket to report to staff.

What you should NOT share
- DM screenshots. Respect others’ privacy.
- Again, if speaking about a private issue, nothing that would identify the person
- This is not permission to slander. For example, there’s a difference between sharing your experience factually (ie I called red and he ignored it and I’m really hurt) vs. sharing judgment (This person is a dangerous manipulator, avoid them)
- As always, you may not share situations that are not your own. This policy applies only to situations that happen to you personally. It does not apply to a friend giving you information, then meaning you get to now go share it with one more person.

We think and hope this will make our members feel more comfortable. We never want to warn or ban members simply for relying on the strong friendships youve built here, and that we want you to continue building. This policy was written in hopes you will all feel safe to confide to your friends without fear of trouble in the hub, but also support us in always doing so respectfully and in a way that’s doesn’t allow members to be slandered or unwelcomed should they ever get into a disagreement.

One more time, please also remember that public or private, you can speak to staff at any time. If you feel unsafe, targeted, or concerned about another’s ability to responsibly participate in a kink space, please let us know so we can support you.

Server Ownership and Poaching

Let us start with assuring everyone, as always, that it is not against the rules of the hub to either own nor join other kink servers.

All of us have lives, including Discord lives, outside of the hub and we want you to enjoy the people and places you spend time with. It is never our goal to stop you from that.

We do, however, expect a few common courtesies:

Owning a Server
- If you decide to start a server in direct competition with a hub server, simply let us know. It is truly fine. But when servers are hidden, it’s understandable that it can look like there are poor intentions.
- Do not plagiarize hub content. Many staff have worked very hard to build protocols, themes, events, etc. If you want to start your own, please do your own work and do not steal ours. We of course do not own the concepts of consent or traffic lights, etc. but write your own material.
- Do not betray hub privacy ie as always, do not discuss the hub outside of the hub
- Do not poach members. (Described below)

Joining a Server
- Please do not poach. (Described below)
- As always, do not discuss the hub outside of the hub.
- Simply be aware. If you join a server and notice an odd amount of hub members, consider that staff or members of that server may be poaching. While this is not your fault, please report it. Best case scenario: there’s no poaching, only coincidence, and nothing happens. Worst case: we find our poaching is involved and are able to take actions to protect the hub.

Poaching
Poaching can look differently in different situations.

Inviting a legitimate friend to a server is not poaching. Telling someone about a server with a theme you know they’re interested in is (probably) not poaching.

What is poaching?
- Sending invites en masse (more than 2-3)
- Coordinating a group to all send invites together
- DM requesting or FRing for the explicit purpose of inviting to a server without legitimate cause
- Obviously putting out either links or ads/descriptions of servers while in the hub in a way that encourages people either to ask you for an invite or ask how they can join etc.

You will never be in trouble for inviting a friend elsewhere, or being invited elsewhere. But we do take issue if those invites are methodical or disingenuous when it becomes clear the underlying goal is really just to populate another server rather than genuine invitation.

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Please ensure [Important Info]

Disc TOS regarding NSFW content in your PFPs, Banners, etc is as follows:

Sexual Content:
Discord prohibits sexually explicit content in user profiles and other publicly accessible areas. This includes usernames, display names, avatars, and other profile elements.
Suggestive Content:
Discord also has policies against suggestive content, which can be subjective but generally refers to content that is sexually suggestive or intended to be provocative.

As such we require you to swap out Any NSFW PFP's and Banners to suitable TOS compliant imagery. Please do this immediately so that mods have an easier time.

Further updates will be coming but for now please ensure your imagery is what it should be.

Thank you

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Minors Zero Tolerance

A reminder to you all that the hub has a zero tolerance policy regarding minors.

If you are under the age of 18 you should not be here. If you are found to be under the age 18 you will be immediately banned.

If there is a suspicion you are under 18 you will be verified as over 18 or banned.

If you are in a VC we should not hear any minors. You access these servers only when you are alone.

You should not be talking about any minors (including your day to day as a parent etc) in these servers.

Nothing at all

This is an adult kink space. Minors have no place in any way here.

We take this policy seriously and will sanction accordingly to safeguard.

Please help us in ensuring these servers are a safe space.

Some mod tools are temporarily down.
Our usual moderation systems, including jail and automated ticket handling, are currently undergoing a little... enhancement. That means for now, some of our hub powered bots are out of commission, and things will be handled the old-fashioned way: with eyes, memory, and very little mercy.
So please, don’t break the rules.
There’s no comfy cell waiting for you after two warnings, it’ll be a one-way trip to Banville, population: you. And the only way to get back will be through an appeal from Crypt Capital, and you can ask those who come from there how "fast" I am at answering tickets there.

While we are rebuilding our systems through other means, tickets will be back way sooner. In the meantime try not to be the reason we dust off the manual banhammer.
Hubris.

Making Reports and Keeping the Community Safe

We would like to address something that comes up time and time again around the hub: making accusations without evidence.

It has come to be a regular occurrence that (usually jailed) members make accusations that the server has done nothing about a complaint they have filed, or worse, persecuted them for it.

Let us be clear: we are not here to take sides or to moderate based on opinion. We moderate by fact, and fact alone.

If you come to staff for support or seek advice, we will happily provide it. If you come in search of moderation action needed against another member, we will require proof.

This is for your own safety. Many of us have been in communities like this one where mods can abuse their powers: to ban or punish members simply for being disliked, or on unfounded accusations if they mess with the wrong person. We will never do that here.

Other people agreeing with you that someone is disliked is not evidence.

So if ever you see someone in the server who you have been told did xyz or was reported and nothing g has been done, we can promise you this: either those who claim to have reported never did, or those with claims either have no proof of their claims or have refused to share them for whatever reason.

That is simply all there is to it. Staff listen to and act on all necessary reports that have provided evidence of their claims. And the hub will not begin actioning members based on baseless claims, or anyone would have the power to get anyone banned with a simple lie.

Members are also never jailed for filing reports made in good conscience. We may not be able to act without evidence, but a member is not punished for such when put in a ticket.

Which brings us to our last point: two wrongs do not make a right. If you behave against the server rules, someone else also breaking those rules or doing wrong to you is not a “Get out of Jail free” card. If both parties have done wrong, both will be actioned. Not neither. Not whoever did wrong first. Both.

So again, if an issue arises, we urge you to come to staff with evidence and not to deal with that problem by engaging in rule breaks of your own - which is the only thing that will ever land you in a jail when an investigation is launched. Never filing a report.

As we all know, our language is one of the most creative ways we have to express ourselves, and in a lively community like ours it often predetermines how our Sirs Dom, and how our subs serve. We want to make sure everyone feels understood and respected. So far, we have put together a guide of what form of speech is allowed and what is not. It's purpose is to set ground rules to keep things serious; It merely only mentions what we forbid and what are singular exceptions. Let's smoothen out wrinkles further: only text speech is forbidden by server standard. Formal contractions like can't, won't, don't, we're, I'm, she's. are fine to use. Standard acronyms : BPD, ESA, WHO, that are clear and known are allowed. Informal contractions like gonna, kinda, tho, are allowed by server rules.
This is as far as us Staff will go. There is no definitive list of banned and approved words one can use, infact, it's not the point of this part of the guide.
Our Sirs are within their rights to set personal standards of speech for those who serve them. Their role is to guide, encourage, teach, praise and sometimes correct when necessary. Their preferences reflect their individual approach, not server wide rules, so they must be communicated and managed as such. Sirs are also welcome to limit their interactions with submissives who show no effort to meet their desired standards. Which again would be a personal choice.
Our submissivesare encouraged to engage thoughtfully with Sirs' guidelines, if they are eager to learn and grow.T his will help them personalize their servitude and broaden their skillsets. That said, no submissive is required to adopt a personal preference they fundamentally disagree with. They will communicate respectfully and diligently to leave no room for misunderstandings when issues arise.
We thrive on mutual respect, trust and open communication, with a touch of common sense holding everything together. Remember the goal isnt perfection, but to work towards it while having fun on the way. It's all that matters anyway

@certified club member
Alright Muffins, gather around. It has been brought to us, there is ambiguity on the name rulings. Our Sirs and lessers find it hard to navigate situations where they are required to address submissives by their names, which leads to unintentionally degrading them when they have a degrading name. It gets confusing on what is appropriate and what is not. We have been ~~reevaluating~~ fine tuning how we handle the not so nice names we give our submissives in here and we were met with 2 extremes:
1 - Ban degrading names entirely, which would deny the snacks some have already gotten a taste of.
2 - Allow their use everywhere, which would make the red room and Lawless lose all it's special sauce.
After doing our homeworks, we decided to strike a balance: We keep the Red room exclusive for full blast humiliation and keep everywhere else a tad more polite. This way we still all get the fun degradation when and where it counts.
What does that mean and what does this change?
* the naming policy will be a little diffferent when it comes to degrading names. Sirs, when granting a degrading name to a submissive who begged for it, will now make sure there is a part of the name that is not derogatory . For example; stupid slut will become attentive stupid slut.
* Outside of the red room only the non degrading part of that name can be used, attentive sub, and in the red room, they can be stupid slut.
* submissives must list their limits in their intros, you can be specific on what name/insult break your spirit so we know which lines to not cross.
This way no one gets denied(too much) and we maintain order while keeping the fun. This policy was only reviewed because it's lapsus was brought to our attention. If you feel there is any inconsistency in a rule, as always, feel free to open a ticket to have us clarify or update the rule. And if you are feeling shy and want to go about it anonymously, you can use our newly inbound command called "/ask". And your question will be answered in an annoucement like this one when we have gathered a sufficient amount of asks.

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Attention Kinksters! Let's talk about verification and common sense, a heavenly made match if you ask me. Age verification Here is not mandatory, it is entirely Optional as we want to believe not all unverified members are little gremlins or trolls. Many have been here for a while, are well known, respected by many and drama free. But some.. well, are on the bad side of the curve and we can never be too safe, so here's a refresher on Why Age verification is in place: To keep the server clean from suspected Underaged members and shield it from alternate accounts/ banned members looking for round 2. We do not force all our members to verify, but as we say in our protocols (check /hub ->hubstandards->Hubprotocols), If you are suspected to be any of each, you will be force verified. Now that we establish why verification is in place, let's go through what To not do when you verify. I listed it here and It has always been here even before the raid https://discord.com/channels/933467628465451148/1266164524537483434/1307147855676440758 . Check out rule 5. Donot post any part of your id uncensored(basic common sense folks). We donot want it. Usually, what we did is we would auto delete and ask you to censor but not anymore. Here is where it gets juicy: It got brought to me that a while ago a bright spark came in here, posted their id uncensored, then messaged themselves a creepy message from an alt to claim the Server Owner "doxxed" them, then in the very same breath admitted the id they used was fake.Yes, you read that right. Fake. ID. 🤡 From now on, Kinksters, there will be 0 tolerance on verification, If you are suspected underage, you will be force verified. If you do not censor your id when you verify, like the rule suggests, we will assume the materials are not yours and you will be banned. We are a kink server, practice kink safely and enjoy this space with friends, do just that and you will have no issues, nuestra casa es tu casa. Troll and I myself will show you how deep the trolling rabbit hole can get.
Stay classy, stay funky and follow the rules.
Shark.

Updates

Hello Sir's and subs, this morning the server was updated this morning to include some of the recent suggestions. I summarise them here for you.

channel The guide has been updated to include a portion on language, typing and acceptable acronym use

media so that you may display your recent art pieces or art that you have found. As always please credit artists and don't pass off anything that doesn't belong to you. We will know.

bdsm-test-and-others for posting your BDSM quiz results and other relevant quiz results.

bdsm-imagery You can now share bdsm specific imagery and art in this channel, it is marked NSFW but SFW BDSM images that aren't art can also be posted.

nsfw-gifs The same says it all, your NSFW gifs go here. Please no full videos.

hobby-lobby You can create threads on topics to share info and discuss ideas. It is a thread only channel. Please read the pins in the channel.

We hope you enjoy the updates and thank you for your suggestions. We grow and improve together as a community and your ideas are always welcome.

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Managing Expectations
Many of us come here for attention, community, to find likeminded friends and perhaps to pair up more deeply with other users. However, these servers are made up of many people with different needs and wants so it is important to manage expectations for others.

Just because you may want a collar, does not mean the s or D type you’re speaking to is interested in a collar. Or just because you may want to serve a drink, does not mean the D you speak to would like one.

No one in these servers owes you attention nor the fulfillment of your fantasies. You are not owed time. You are not owed a “good sub” just because another sub got one for the same thing, nor a RP just because another Dom got one.

In all of the hub’s servers, along with managing your expectations, we therefore expect that you can manage your emotions as well. Weigh your online interactions properly within the context of your life: if a lack of attention in the server is affecting your mental health, go on break or sign out. If you’re feeling jealous of another user because they have something (attention, a collar, whatever) that you do not, go on break.

These servers should not negatively affect your emotions or mental health and if they do, it is up to you to take the appropriate step away until they are managed.

The server is not therapy nor a support group, and we aim to keep the experiences within them positive for all, so we ask that you not request or rely on support from it’s members for your happiness.

Relationship Timelines
Let us introduce you to the concept of NRE: New Relationship Energy. Almost nothing is more thrilling than the butterflies that come with meeting someone new whom you enjoy. We have all felt it: the excitement, the fiery intimacy, the belief this person is different than the others, that what we share is unique.

And sometimes that’s true. But most of the time? It’s not.

No matter what the butterflies tell you: you do not know another user just because you’ve been speaking all ay every day for 3 weeks, though that’s a great start. Knowing another takes time, so do not confuse knowing a lot (if even true) with knowing everything about someone. Do not confuse the excitement of meeting someone new with love. And do not confuse the absence of loneliness as having found someone who is actually good for you.

A perfect fit is not measured by getting along in the easy moments, but making it through the difficult ones. Consider relationships and sacred collars only once you are sure you can make it, when you know you both will have the energy and will to work through a problem even when there are no butterflies to help you along.

And further, remind yourself that a collared dynamic should require more than a vanilla one, not less. MORE communication, MORE trust, MORE vulnerability, and so on. They are harder, deeper, taxing…because when done properly, they’re worth it.

To continue with the theme: also remember that online, you know nothing about another’s life, even online. What is said to you can be said elsewhere. Intimate DMs with you may be matched elsewhere. The user may be in other servers. The details they share may not be accurate.

And so take your time. Your time is valuable and you will be glad you have vetted a partner properly when you are not dealing with the fallout of an improper pairing born of excitement.

Requesting or Accepting DMs
Though the hub no longer requires a minimum amount of interaction before requesting a DM, we still recommend this as a best practice, for your own safety.

Staff is not able to moderate your DMs, and by requesting or accepting DM access too early, you are giving another user access to yourself that we can not help protect you within. While this can mean we can not stop harmful, abusive, inappropriate, violent or harassing language from another, this rule is not only in place for the extremes. In the server, we can also protect you from emotional manipulation and blackmail, inappropriate ownership language, breaking server protocols, being left without aftercare, revealing too much information you did not intend, and so on.

Nobody thinks when beginning a DM with someone, all excited after a brief, positive interaction in the server, that the communication could possible go wrong - but it can, and often does. Remember: Do not assume you know people easily. You do not. Treat private access to yourself as a valuable commodity - it is. Not everyone deserves access.

To speak in private, within the protection of the server, see your server's hotel/book-a-room/cctv option.

Contacting Mods and DMing Staff
All hub servers have a contact system you should use to report hub protocol breaches, member concerns, ask questions, make reports against users or staff and more. You should NEVER DM a mod for anything server related, for any reason, ever.

Should need to share something especially private from a mod, please open a contact ticket, and an appropriate staff member can discuss if a DM is suitable for your unique situation.

If a mod is assisting you with the server in private, please report this breach by opening a contact ticket or contacting the server manager.

Joining Private Servers

Users have often asked why the hub’s servers have so many rules in place and the answer is easy: your protection. Like accepting or requesting DMs with another too quickly, we caution you against joining private servers where you can not be protected.

Private servers usually have no formal rules, nor someone to report to should the server owner begin to misuse the information you’ve shared privately, harass you, etc. The nature of these spaces also means that everything you say is written and can be screenshotted, saved and stored. Treat each place you visit with caution.



The hub can not take action against misdeeds done in other servers not within the hub, and as before: you only know others online so well.

Understand that you can not prevent others from taking actions you do not approve of, but you can protect yourself by not entering situations where you may be vulnerable to harm.

Server Safety and Protecting Your Privacy
We do our best to create a community in this server that you can enjoy, develop friendships within, fulfill your fantasies and more. Because we often share vulnerable pieces of ourselves here, it is easy to both share too much or to emotionally invest more deeply than we should.

At the end of the day, as well as you think you know your online friends, you do not know them, no matter how often you talk or how much you share, and we hope we can help you enjoy your time here in a safe and healthy way with the following guidance.

Sharing Personal Information
Protect yourself from information being used against you. It’s common, when we are vulnerable with others, to share our health and mental challenges, struggles within our personal lives, insecurities of ours and more. At the time, we share these with someone else in the server we have decided to trust, but what about when something goes wrong? 

Always ask yourself how well you really know another. Do you know how they react when furious or hurt? Do you know how they react when scared? And so on. Do not trust personal information you do not want made public with people you do not really know at the end of the day.

And perhaps even more importantly: remember that you are not special. If a user speaks ill of others to you, they may speak ill of you to others. If a user handled a situation with another poorly but “would never do that with you” - be concerned. People are who they are, and you’re only special until you’re not.

Posting Photos
Please remember that you are always posting photos at your own risk - SFW and NSFW. Posting photos is not required, even once verified, and we often look past identifying details (you know, besides tattoos, and our own faces). Images are traceable, photos contain metadata, and often clues as to your identity and/or location can exist in the background of your photos. Images can also be reverse image searched to find you on social media, if you have shared the same photos anywhere online.

Share photos with caution and the understanding that while it is our hope our members are respectful and good, that neither you nor we can control other's ability to save your photos or seek trackable information from them once shared - which goes for everywhere online, not just servers in the hub. Be smart with what you share!

Providing Identifiable/Trackable Information
Do not share identifiable or trackable information with anybody, including staff, and be wary of people, staff or other servers who demand it.

When submitting your verifications, please exclude your name, address, etc. (you would be shocked how many don’t). We do not want this information. When getting to know others, be careful when sharing last names, places of work, social media accounts and more. This includes sharing this information in voice chats and or when streaming. Do not open personal files when streaming your screen, and always turn off your stream when you are done showing others what you want to show. It is advised to not stream while you are doing another miscellaneous tasks, as if you get distracted and forget that you are still streaming, the worst could happen. With any one of these pieces of information, a user can find out who you are. And with a user knowing who you are, can find out plenty more about you as well: including interfering with your real, personal life, which the hub can not help with once it begins.

Information as simple as the name of a restaurant you attended last night, or what you do for a living in a small town, or the items in the background of your photos is enough for your identity to be swiped.

It’s easy for us to get lost in “one harmless piece of information”, but remember many of us share thousands of messages across months and years that someone patient enough can piece together. Protect yourself.

Announcing the Launch of Lapine Maison!

Join on Discord

Hello there hub users and welcome to the hubs premiere holiday hot-spot Lapine Maison.

Lapine Maison is a non protocol space to relax together, have fun and socialise outside of your specific kink themed servers.

We encourage you to join us and be your pure natural selves. If you want to use honorifics between you and your partner you can! If you want to drop all of it for your break you can!

There is no set way for you to enjoy your holiday.

So come!

Relax by the pool and have fun with your peers.

See you soon!

Sir's honorifics protocol

Sir's, we acknowledge that some of you have a preference for your honorific and prefer to use a title other than Sir.

For this reason you may choose to use any honorific you find acceptable providing it follows these basic guidelines.

1) Your honorific may not be that of a God or Diety.

2) Your honorific must be English. We cannot expect submissives to use honorifics they do not understand/ are aware of being an honorific.

3) Must not insinuate in any way that you are superior to any other Sir.

And finally

4) They must not include any ownership language. E.g Your Sir, Your sinful Master will not be accepted.

You will have the right to change your title to your proffered name and honorific after you have been issued with the initial Sir title by moderators.