• Introduction

• The Writer once shared everything secrets, emotions, the most personal truths with a friend who felt irreplaceable. That bond seemed unshakable, yet the very person who knew the Writer most deeply eventually disappeared, leaving behind silence and absence. This created a lasting wound: the trauma of having entrusted one’s entire self to someone who was never permanent.

• Now, when asked “How are you?” the Writer answers with a practiced “I’m fine,” wearing a smile that conceals the truth. Inside, however, the Writer remains broken haunted by memories, weighed down by longing, and fearful of ever sharing so deeply again.

• What follows is the account of a conversation that captures both the past closeness and the present ache of the Writer’s reality.

He: Hi
She: Hey, how are you?
He: I’m good, what about you?
She: I’m fine, good actually. And you?
He: Good too…

She: Doesn’t really seem like it.
He: No, I’m fine, really.
She: I don’t think so. Be honest.
He: Please, just ignore it. Let’s move on.
She: No, tell me. Why are you sad?
He: …It’s nothing. Really, don’t worry.
She: I can feel it. Don’t hide from me. Tell me.

He: (pauses) …I said I’m fine.
She: You’re not. You can trust me. Please say it.
He: …(typing, deleting)…
She: Don’t push me away. What’s wrong?

He: …(long pause)…
He: I… can’t hold it anymore.
He: (sobs)… The truth is… I’m sad because of you.
She: Me? What do you mean?
He: Because I know you can’t be with me forever.
He: Because no matter how much I want, this… us… won’t last.
He: And no one else will ever care for me the way you do.
He: That’s why I’m breaking inside.

She: …
He: The happiness I had… was all because of you.
He: And now the sadness I carry… is also because of you.
He: You’re the reason behind it all—my past happiness, my present pain.
He: And it hurts even more when you ask me “Why are you sad?”
He: …because the answer will always be you.