Should Parents Be Forgiven for Trauma? | FriendZone Debate

Summary

FriendZone | Make Friends ⋅ Fun Chill Active Chat ⋅ VC Social Gaming ⋅ Memes ⋅ Nitro Emojis ⋅ Anime hosts a thought-provoking community debate on whether parents should be forgiven for causing long-term trauma. Members discuss the complexities of emotional abuse, the impact of upbringing on mental health, and whether forgiveness is necessary for personal growth. This discussion highlights the server's commitment to deep, meaningful conversations alongside its social gaming and anime-focused comm...

gentleunicorn-93 OP

I'm not talking about small mistakes like forgetting your birthday and all. I'm talking the ones which change you as a human being sometimes with trauma,etc.
So should parents be forgiven for such grave mistakes?

quickbadger-36

:pepetea:

quickbadger-36

People celebrate birthdays lol?

grandquiver-69

Nah

grandquiver-69

They shouldn't

@grandquiver-69 They shouldn't
gentleunicorn-93 OP

Why?

amberyellow-59

Depends on the level of abuse, I think emotional is forgivable as long as it's moderate, not extreme

@amberyellow-59 Depends on the level of abuse, I think emotional is forgivable as long as it's moderate, not extreme
gentleunicorn-93 OP

But what if it affected the person very much, in a bad way

@gentleunicorn-93 But what if it affected the person very much, in a bad way
amberyellow-59

If the person can use that experience to become stronger than still forgivable but if not then idk

@amberyellow-59 If the person can use that experience to become stronger than still forgivable but if not then idk
gentleunicorn-93 OP

So it doesn't matter if your mental health is at stakes. All it matters is whether you became strong because of it or not?

@gentleunicorn-93 Why?
grandquiver-69

If it causes a lot of damage which affects their kid long term then they shouldn't rly be forgiven, also if it's smth which happened over yrs

@grandquiver-69 If it causes a lot of damage which affects their kid long term then they shouldn't rly be forgiven,…
gentleunicorn-93 OP

Yes, but they are your parents

@gentleunicorn-93 Yes, but they are your parents
grandquiver-69

Parents shouldn't cause pain into their kids

grandquiver-69

I mean extremely negative

@grandquiver-69 Parents shouldn't cause pain into their kids
gentleunicorn-93 OP

But they are the ones who are taking care of you. They are the ones because of whom you are alive, surviving. So I think they deserve the forgiveness

@gentleunicorn-93 So it doesn't matter if your mental health is at stakes. All it matters is whether you became stron…
amberyellow-59

Not saying that but life has lots of instances where you have to play the hand your dealt, so your bad experiences can either make you or break you

@amberyellow-59 Not saying that but life has lots of instances where you have to play the hand your dealt, so your…
gentleunicorn-93 OP

What if those experiences broke you so hard that it improved your performances but still it left you with mental issues?

@gentleunicorn-93 But they are the ones who are taking care of you. They are the ones because of whom you are alive,…
grandquiver-69

So their kids should be grateful for that? I don't think that holds much weight if the parent/s decide to not treat them well and possibly cause them trauma which affects them as they grow into adults

@grandquiver-69 So their kids should be grateful for that? I don't think that holds much weight if the parent/s dec…
gentleunicorn-93 OP

Ok. But should their kids be fighting against their parents to fight against such acts or should they just not forgive them and ignore them?

@gentleunicorn-93 What if those experiences broke you so hard that it improved your performances but still it left yo…
amberyellow-59

That would be called taking the good with the bad, I have confidence and self esteem issues from how I was raised but what would blaming my parents get me? Nothing

@amberyellow-59 That would be called taking the good with the bad, I have confidence and self esteem issues from ho…
gentleunicorn-93 OP

So you don't even try to tell them about how their actions are affecting your mental health?

@gentleunicorn-93 Ok. But should their kids be fighting against their parents to fight against such acts or should th…
grandquiver-69

I don't think they can rly fight them, especially when they're dependent on others in order to get their basic needs, all they could do is try and work on building good relations with those who don't cause them issues when they're more grown up and from there it depends what they would personally wanna do

@grandquiver-69 I don't think they can rly fight them, especially when they're dependent on others in order to get…
gentleunicorn-93 OP

So they should just remain silent to all the mental torture which your parents are giving you?

@gentleunicorn-93 So you don't even try to tell them about how their actions are affecting your mental health?
amberyellow-59

I mean you can but usually when parents cause abuse they are not actively aware of it in the moment

@gentleunicorn-93 So they should just remain silent to all the mental torture which your parents are giving you?
grandquiver-69

Tbh that might be the only option some have, but if they know someone they can trust (like a brother/ sister figure or a close friend) it might be easier for them to go through it

quickbadger-36

At some point you would just get tire of keeping the hate or hurt🤧

@quickbadger-36 At some point you would just get tire of keeping the hate or hurt🤧
gentleunicorn-93 OP

So you're gonna wait it that point comes in your life?

@gentleunicorn-93 So you're gonna wait it that point comes in your life?
quickbadger-36

Speaking of experience

quickbadger-36

Kinda had the whole abandonment thingy

grandquiver-69

Also not forgiving doesn't necessarily mean keeping hatred against them, especially if it's from past events which don't have as much weight in the present

@amberyellow-59 I mean you can but usually when parents cause abuse they are not actively aware of it in the moment
gentleunicorn-93 OP

So being not aware of what you're doing makes you not guilty of the action?
Is that what you're trying to say?

quickbadger-36

But, I just try to move on Nd live my life since you can't change the past

@amberyellow-59 I mean you can but usually when parents cause abuse they are not actively aware of it in the moment
grandquiver-69

At times they might be aware but won't consider it as that

quickbadger-36

But can at least forgive since it doesn't remove anything from you

@gentleunicorn-93 So being not aware of what you're doing makes you not guilty of the action? Is that what you're try…
amberyellow-59

No they are guilty but depending on the treatment can still be forgiven

@amberyellow-59 No they are guilty but depending on the treatment can still be forgiven
gentleunicorn-93 OP

How?

@grandquiver-69 At times they might be aware but won't consider it as that
gentleunicorn-93 OP

Good point

quickbadger-36

Not easy being a parent btw:straightface:

@gentleunicorn-93 How?
amberyellow-59

Because parents are human too

amberyellow-59

It's their first time living their lives also

quickbadger-36

Just wait till you gets kids Nd see how far you do

@amberyellow-59 Because parents are human too
gentleunicorn-93 OP

So humans can get away with ruining someone's peace of mind and still be forgiven?

grandquiver-69

Doesn't mean actively hurting the kid, not always a physical thing too

@gentleunicorn-93 So humans can get away with ruining someone's peace of mind and still be forgiven?
amberyellow-59

Yes

quickbadger-36

It's a personal choice

@quickbadger-36 It's a personal choice
amberyellow-59

Yeah

@amberyellow-59 Yes
gentleunicorn-93 OP

And is it just because they are superior than you ?
Or is the reason something different

@amberyellow-59 Yeah
quickbadger-36

Forgiving them doesn't make the past right or okay. But at least you have try to let go of a few things I guess

@quickbadger-36 It's a personal choice
gentleunicorn-93 OP

Yes but we gotta know if that choice actually helps that individual or not

@gentleunicorn-93 So humans can get away with ruining someone's peace of mind and still be forgiven?
grandquiver-69

Doesn't sound right, that person could get an unstable mind cos of what happened to them (I don't mean crazy, just not much peace)

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